Through the Mirror of My Mind: Reflective Inspirations for Caregivers by C. Andrew Martin

About the book

Through the Mirror of My Mind is a love story -- a memoir. It is also an empowering reference book for caregivers -- a self-help book. It is a chronicle of my five-year journey as a caregiver for my partner, Gil V. Ornelas, who was diagnosed with HIV in 1991. It is also a diary of my grief and healing during the two-year period following Gil's death. Our story is told using a nine-week hospice-training course as the structure of the book. Valuable lessons in hospice-based caregiving are presented in each of these nine sessions/chapters. Included in the session/chapters are my collections of reflective personal essays of our real life-evolving story, which illustrate, and parallel, each lesson taught in the training. The essays, written in retrospect, are intended as inspirations for caregivers, anticipatory caregivers, or anyone who is curious about caregiving.

Setting: The story takes place in Dover, NH from 1991-1998. It tells of Andrew's struggle to come to terms with Gil's diagnosis of AIDS. Coming to terms means somehow preparing for, and providing Gil with, the ability to die peacefully at home. Andrew's enrolling in a nine-week hospice-training program provides the tools for Gil's and Andrew's journeys.

Characters: The memoir is a story of the love and commitment between Gil Victor Ornelas and C. Andrew Martin. Inevitably, Death is the third main character. Participants in the hospice training sessions, friends, neighbors, and family are minor characters occasionally woven into the story to illustrate the lessons.

Structure: Nine lessons are revealed in the nine session/chapters of the book. The reader has the option to read the story from beginning to end, gaining access to the complete caregiver's story from diagnosis, through illness and death, into grief and healing. However, a caregiver may not have much leisure time for reading. Therefore, the reader also has the opportunity to focus on one particular aspect of caregiving that he or she may be experiencing, by reading the pertinent chapter and accompanying essays. Each chapter is presented in a way that provides clear information and reflection on: hospice care philosophy, terminal illness, renegotiating intimacy, being emotionally and physically present, spirituality, advance planning of funeral and obituary, loss of family and friends, death, grieving, and a survivor's ability to eventually move on with life.

Resolution: Through the Mirror of My Mind is the story of the immediate personal growth of two men, from their late thirties through early forties, confronting death from different viewpoints. It offers a blatantly honest view of human relationships challenged by terminal illness. It ends with Andrew able to continue life after the death of Gil, and beyond mourning, with the writing of this book as a reflection of his experiences.

About the author

Born 1954 in Portland, Maine, C. Andrew Martin's passions are writing, gardening and generating hospice awareness. As a volunteer member of Seacoast Hospice's Speakers' Bureau, Andrew frequently reads selections from his first book, THROUGH THE MIRROR OF MY MIND: Reflective Inspirations for Caregivers, to hospice training groups.

Preparation for writing this book includes his life experience as a caregiver for his partner Gil V. Ornelas; participating in writing workshops at the University of New Hampshire; attending the Molasses Pond Writers' Conferences at the request of its organizers and published writers, Martha Barron Barrett and Susan Wheeler; and Beyond Editing -- a self-formed, ongoing writers' group.

Currently pursuing a R.N. degree in anticipation of working with the terminally ill, Andrew nurtures a life in Dover, New Hampshire with his partner, Rabbi Lev Ba'esh, and their three cats.